Today marks the first six months of my life, without my dad. I miss him terribly.
And the one thing that really hurts, is that my dad knew how lonely I felt at times, always wondering when I was going to meet somebody.
Destined to single till death, I would tell him. And he would tell me very confidently, that no. That I would find that right person, and when I did, it would be forever.
I remember clearly sitting in the hospital chair in Ann Arbor, and my dad had just defied the odds once again. He was drugged up to be sure, but he was dressed in yellow pajamas. And he asked, "Did you come here alone?"
And I said, "Yes, dad. I'm always alone. That's how I roll."
He looked out the window and I can't accurately capture in print the look on his face, but it was one of complete and utter confidence... like he was looking beyond whatever was out the window.
And he said, "It's going to happen. And he clenched his jaw, the way he used to do, when he was mad or making a point.
His face said: It's a done deal.
I miss my champion of all causes... no matter if he was fighting for me to get paid from my job at the car wash or fighting for my heart.
Thursday, July 01, 2010
Date: June 2007
Place: Downtown Las Vegas, Four Queens Casino.
Time: Middle of night. Dad is at poker machine, Kelly is at black jack table, until her presence is requested by B.Q.
BQ: Hi Kelly. Take this card. Go get yourself something.
KQ: What are you talking about, Dad.
BQ: I have all these points, go get yourself a t-shirt. In the gift shop. Go pick it out and I'll meet you there.
KQ: Heads to "gift shop" which is a glass booth full of tee shirts, mugs etc. Kelly stands around waiting.
20 minutes pass... no B.Q.
Finally KQ goes to find him... he is in the same spot at the same video poker machine.
B.Q. Hey kid. What's going on?
KQ: (mad) the shirt you insisted I get? I'm still waiting in the "gift shop."
B.Q. Oh yeah... had a good few hands, I forgot. Let's go.
KQ: Grumbling and mad now...fine.
BQ and KQ in front of booth now.
BQ. Pick this one. You like Pink.
KQ: Not really, but it's the best one.
Present day: I woke up and decided to wear my pink glittery Four Queens tee shirt.
It's funny what memories float to the surface as important. I now cherish the shirt that I didn't even want and the memories of my one trip to Las Vegas with my dad.