Wednesday, March 02, 2005

To all the Jobs I've Had Before

Ok. I'm supposed to be writing headlines for air filters and since I don't even understand their real purpose, I have decided to create instead, another Haiku for my friend Becky.

She had a tire blow-out on her way to work. She got it fixed real fast by Belle Tire. I feel it's ok to give them a little promo.

Tires all blown to shit.
can't drive 55, if I try.
Belle's got my back, yo.

Might as well write one about air filters too.

Mopar is the bomb.
Filters air till it's real clean.
Generic won't do.

So there. Maybe I should present that to my CD's and see what they think of that as a headline. Oh, CD is a Creative Director for those of you who are not immersed in a world where CD, AD, Hot, re-purpose, Outside the box means something to somebody. I'm a CW.

Funny thing is a lot of people never understand what that means. I don't work in a copyright office. I write crap that 95% of the general public will ignore or throw away. The thing is, I love it.

I've had other jobs with interesting titles. I've been a courtesy clerk at Kroger which was a nice way of saying, "Peon that collects carts in the rain." Attendent at the laundrymat code for "Wash other people's dirty clothes." Straightner was an all time low. AKA- "Walking around K-Mart all day like some crazy person with OCD. Straighten toilet paper. Tidy vitamins. Fuck. Somebody's been fondling the nylon display you spent all morning fixing, so do it again."

I really can't complain about the job I've got now. I really do like it. Sure it hurts my head sometimes but I've been here almost a year, and no one has ever asked me to collect any carts or wash any strangers underwear. You know you've really made it, when your job doesn't require either a name tag or a polyester smock of some kind.

Hair nets optional.

1 comment:

Barrie said...

it's amazing how far you've come. you should do a one of those "I'm smart enough" videos on how you can be whatever you want, even if your former life consisted of making change for a living. no matter how much crap you have to deal with, be proud that you've come this far. rock on.

write this shit down yo!