Suit Tale

I faced the beast that women hate last night.

Swimsuit shopping. A one day sale. It had to be done. My old one was falling off.

Throw in a head cold and it was a magical evening. But, I've got one that will do.

Shows a little cleavage but its mostly modest and black.

Shelf that Book

From one of my favorite time wasting web sites while at work:

Lady #1: I wonder what that kid over there is reading.
Lady #2: God, if my kid read I'd kill it.
Lady #1: Amy!*
Lady #2: Seriously, I'm never buying my kids books.

It makes me grateful that my mom instilled a love of reading into me at a young age. I remember trips to the library where I'd load up on stacks of books, even when I was up north visiting my grandma and grandpa gostshall, we'd go to the library.

The library is the place that first got me interested in Charlie and Chocolate Factory, Nancy Drew, this series of Betsy something or other books, Sweet Valley High (oh yes), Catcher in the Rye, and countless others.

Even now, if I'm having a bad day or I'm feeling depressed, I'll go to the library or a bookstore to cheer myself up. I love to be surrounded by books and the smell of the pages that promise a new story just around the corner.

No Plans

My weekend of basically no plans actually turned out pretty nice.

Friday, I had the day off and was grateful as I'd been out late the night before at yet another office going away party. But I had lots of fun. So, I cleaned my house of all things, including mopping the floor. Then I headed over to dinner at Rachel's and hung out with her and her two kids. It was fun to see all of them.

Saturday morning, I got up and went to the gym. Came home had breakfast and then called my dad. Wanted to spend some time with him since it was his birthday on Sunday. I got to his house, we visited a while and then headed off to do some shopping. We met Shane there and we all had dinner together. My dad said he loved the shirt that we got for him and he was glad to own Cool Hand Luke.

After I brought my dad home, it was pretty early so I suggested we head up to the B1 in Keego for a drink or two and a few rounds of keno. Several plays on the jukebox lead to Johnny Cash, David Allan Coe, and Merle Haggard. It's that kind of joint. We headed home and I tucked my dad back in and then drove back to Royal Oak.

Sunday Morning, Shane called and invited me to a BBQ and hanging out on the lake at Jeff's house. Even though, the boat ultimately didn't run, we've got high hopes for next weekend.

Shane and I did go out on the jetski several times and I flipped off of it once.

But it was one of those perfect summer days hanging out and enjoying the weather and the people I love.

And my dad and Wally made plans for a fishing trip soon, where Wally said:

"I'll take you fishing fucker. Just don't die on me before we go."

Cool Hand Dad

Last evening I went on a birthday treasure hunt for my dad's birthday. Found the treasure at Tommy Bahama's and their insanely over-priced shirts. But he likes them, so what the heck?

Hopefully, he'll like the one I picked out. At least Shane is going in on it. I must admit, I was in need of some more Clinque face soap so I also stopped by the counter there at Nordstroms.

Still on the hunt for Cool Hand Luke since my dad doesn't own it, but it is a classic Newman film. I'm hoping Target here in Dearborn will be more helpful than the one in Troy. But the thing is it's not an obscure movie. I mean I can' walk 2 feet without hitting Spiderman, Pirates of the Caribbean, Old School, or Mean Girls.

But a classic American movie? That's harder to come by.

It was an Honor

This past Saturday I celebrated a birthday.

And I thought a nice way to commemorate the birthday would be to honor those in my life that have helped me, shaped me and loved me.

My parents: This one is a no brainer. My mom has always taught me to be strong and reminds me to take risks even when I'm scared and it would be easy to embrace the status quo.

My Dad: Well, he's a tough, hard ass former Marine with a gooey center. He loved me first, bought me my first bouquet of roses, and taught me to never put up with any one mistreating me.

Shane: My older brother is staggering in his kindness, generosity and humor. And he's always there during rough times and happy days.

Jeff: Shane's best friend who has become part of our family. So much so that he's in my dad's dvd about his life. He is the rare sort who thinks of others and somebody who will always be there whether we're boating, grieving or celebrating.

Connie: My oldest and dearest friend. Connie is the sister I never had and we grew up together. She's been in my life since I was six years old and there's something amazing about a friendship with all the backstory filled in, yet, we could talk for hours every day.

Amy: One of my oldest friends who talks me down from my frequent parnoid episodes, helped me learn how to decorate things, and knows all my crazy history and likes me anyway.

Becky: Was my first real friend at my first ad job. She kindly showed me the ropes, answered all my questions and since then has been sincerely and whole-heartly invested in making my life better with her kindness, her humor and her gentle nature. She is fun, thoughtful and an amazingly good person.

Usha: My crazy and I mean quirky British friend who is always up for a new adventure.

James: AKA, Jimmy Ohio. We share a similar attitude about work and he understands my warped sense of humor. And he shows up in times of saddness and fun and is always ready to help me drink. Hopefully we can work together again sometime.

Nevada: My no holds barred, set your hair on fire, lives in Detroit friend who moved here from Oklahoma. Shares my love of old country music, Starbucks coffee, hatred of small talk about the weather, and endures my endless indecision with humor.

Barrie: Never judges. And has been very kind to me through this long illness of my dad's, and she gets why I love Johnny Cash and 90210.

This year I realize just how lucky I am and not in a God Bless everyone Tiny Tim kind of way, but I'm truly in awe that all of my friends coming out to help me celebrate.

Any presents were icing on the carrot cake that I managed to avoid.

Grunt On

Good Morning.

Not feeling angry this morning so that helps.

Did my second day of the 3 day weight training this morning. Maybe that's why I'm not mad.

But I did notice all the men in the gym make sex noises when they work out. Lots of grunting and such.

It's a little odd but then so are those ladies who put on full make-up before they work out. I'm not one of them.

Tonight after work its off to shop for my Dad's Father's Day gift and to avoid my hot house flat. Made the mistake of cooking dinner in there last night. It was way to warm, but I have a great casserole called Glop that my Grandma Gotshall used to make for my efforts.

Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday

In case any one cares, I did buy some new clothes yesterday. It was nice.

They're comfortable and a little girly which is helpful, as I'm a woman as opposed to a man dressed like a woman.

Not much other news. Watched This Film is Not Yet Rated. Pretty interesting shit.

Random Tuesday thoughts: I can't decide what to get my dad for Father's Day. He doesn't fit into the "Golf or BBQ dad like all the ads want us to believe. Nor is he into the technology aspect and besides he's already got a nano he ignores.

He did send me his first text message, which was awesome.

Anyway, any thoughts?

So

I was just at the mall getting a Starbucks and decided to check out the new clothing line by Sarah Jessica Parker at Steve and Barry's.

Surprisingly nice feeling clothes and very affordable. It made me itch for a shopping spree. I think I'm heading back after work.

Why? Because I want to. Lately, that's my new thing. If I want to do something, I'm gonna damn well do it.

Other things about me:

1. I'm a diet coke person.
2. I'm also an Adidas person. Get your Nike shit away from me.
3. Today I started my new weight routine and my muscles are sore. This is good.
4. Having lunch with Tonya today.
5.And I have to leave this blog to go look for a haircut for Friday. I'm forgoing my usual lady for this new person, but only because I've got some free spa dollars to use up.

Looking forward to my dad returning from up north so I can have a visit.

Whirl Weekend

This weekend has been pretty nice.

My dad is spending a few days up north with my mom and his brothers and sisters so that's good. I know he's getting lots of visits and spending some time at the local casino.

As for me well, Friday night I had dinner with Becky and then we hung out at a bookstore for a while, and it was nice to catch up.

Saturday morning Shane came to my gym to give me a new weight routine, which we're calling "The Resurrection." I'm hopeful that I can jump off my weight loss plateau and I know that I need the outlet of the gym more than ever right now.

Eager to get there Monday morning, which is always a good sign. After the gym we had a delicious breakfast at Cafe Havana in Royal Oak.

Then later I left for Detroit for Nevada's Wino and Cheese Party which was lots of cheap wine and orange food products. I partied like a 23 year old and that felt good.

But since I'm not 23, today I'm a bit tired. Took a nap and a shower and decided to go see Oceans 13.

I liked it. It was as good as Oceans 11 I thought and as a bonus there was no Julia Roberts. :)

And my Aunt Pat mailed me a dvd all about my dad, one of her cool family video projects. I've already watched it 3 times. I love it. The pictures, the choice of music is awesome.

Tomorrow is the start of a new week and I'm hoping I can take things in stride as much as possible.

Thoughts over Pancakes

Maybe life's greatest stories stem from the jobs you didn't get and the boys who left you so you'd end up with a man.

This is Spinal Tap

Stellar week.

Do I believe in fate and destiny? Perhaps to a certain extent. Do I think a huge disappointment will ultimately lead me to a much more fulfilling life?

Maybe I do.

But the funny part is that sort of clarity only happens after the next great thing occurs, so I can think: "Oh and that's why that happened?"

I do know this week that I've made some great friends in this town. And perhaps my path crossed with them so I could do more in my future. They fill in gaps. They drink with me, dance, listen, but most importantly they show up.

But cancer? No. That just fucking sucks.

The Vietnam War? I got a bone to pick with you. I don't need to be a political activist to understand that the war ruined the best part of my father.

And what does he get for bravely enlisting when others ran?

Exposure to Agent Orange and now spinal cancer.

Lung cancer+ throat cancer+ spinal cancer+= No more treatment available.

Do you think our government is standing up saying "we're sorry. What can we do?"

No.

What my dad got for his bravery and his heart and soul was a few dollars which got shrunk down to nothing when he was deemed healthy enough to return to work.

He can't work. His job was very physical. He climbed trees. Manned chain saws. Swung from ropes.

We're gonna fight for the rest of his benefits so my dad may enjoy whatever time is allowed to travel. To see things. To smoke if he wants. Have a drink.

The motto of the United States Marine Corp: The few. The Proud. The Marines.

My dad is proud. He is brave. He is dying.

He is mine. He is my brothers.

He is Loved.

Mourning Sickness

You know how writing makes you feel like you forgot to get dressed?

That's what this entry is gonna be like for me. But one thing I've learned is that writing helps me deal with stuff and speaking the truth isn't easy or pretty but it is necessary.

So here goes. My dad I know I've mentioned him a time or two in this space, well he's been dealing with cancer since 2003. And this past Tuesday we got the news that I never wanted to hear. MY dad's cancer has gone into his spine.

There is no more treatment. Just a management of pain medication from now till later.

We weren't given a time table and I know myself, I don't need a time table. I will miss him for the rest of my life. I'll mourn him and his absence so I'm certain I don't need a ticking clock over my head to tell me, I better cram in all my visits, I better commit every conversation to memory as if it were our last.

This I already know.

I'm hoping to talk to him about taking a trip someplace. Hopefully Ireland.

I don't know what else to say. I'll do this one day at time, minute by minute if that's what it takes.