YAY

Today I hit a milestone in my ongoing weight loss journey. A stubborn pound that had been hanging out since before Christmas, finally hit the road today, leaving me officially 30 and then some, pounds lighter.

Hooray! I'm ready to continue to tackle this weight, but for today, for this moment, I am forcing myself to enjoy what I've accomplished so far.

And it made me think about something: After reading a fellow losers journey, she asked, Why do you want to lose weight?

The short answer: To look good. To have more fun shopping, to sound like a shallow female. But that isn't the reason. It may have been that in the begining, but it has given me so much more.

Mostly, it gives me peace of mind. I don't feel trapped anymore by my own body. I no longer feel bad, every single morning when I get dressed. And it's not because I wake up thinking, "Damn, I'm hot."

Cause I don't do that, and I have serious doubts I ever will. But I do feel more at peace. That even if I don't lose anymore, it will be ok. That's not to say that I feel done or that I won't keep working hard to lose the rest, but I have improved my health greatly by doing what I have already done. My health is better, and I exercise on a regular basis.

I still don't love the gym, but I love the feeling I get when I'm done exercising. A bit tired, but refreshed and mentally, I always feel less stressed and a calm sense of it will be alright comes over me. Nothing else in my life gives me that feeling.

Sure, I still love a cupcake, but today I'm choosing better at each meal which gives me freedom to eat one every now and then. Chocolate with frosting.