Only You Can Prevent Forrest Fires

I remember as a kid, watching the Public Service Annoucements with Smokey the Bear, telling me, that I could prevent forrest fires, but putting out my campsite fire, and not leaving lit cigarettes in a pile of dried brush. Even to my 8 year old ears, it seemed like a reasonable idea.

So, how come the same idea is nearly impossible to grasp as an adult? My dad, as I've mentioned, as lung cancer. And as early as last week, he had an operation to remove a tumor from his throat. His friend brought him home from the hospital, and written right on the directions from the doctor, was a note, "No Smoking or Drinking."

Yesterday, I went to visit my dad, which wasn't a good visit. Turns out, my dad's decided that things are not going well, and therefore, has decided to smoke. When I ask him about it, he says, Well, I'm worried, and I'm going to get bad news."

I'm pretty sure that whatever bad news you're going to get, smoking isn't going to help the situation. I understand cigarettes are addicting. I get that cancer is scary, but what I don't get, is why a person won't do whatever they can, to help themselves get healthy. It's really up to God, how all of this works out, but c'mon.

Quit making it worse. I can't keep coming over to watch my dad self destruct. I can't make him stop, but I don't have to watch him hurt himself.

The Waiting Game

My dad has been battling lung cancer since October 1, 2003.

That's the day we all found out. I had gotten a call on September 30th while in Atlanta, when my mom told me that my dad had been admitted to the hospital. I remember the date, cause when I woke up that morning, I'd been thinking about James Dean's death.

Not my father's. But we all adjusted, and freaked out and cried. I called Barrie, Carl, and Nik from the dirty hospital parking lot in Atlanta to report the news. The comforting part isn't what they said. What could they say?

No, the comforting part is that my friends let me say whatever I needed to, and didn't try to tell me it was God's way or any shit like that. Carl mixed me drinks before I left, Barrie listened quietly, and Nik told me a story about a mongrel dog that needed to be shot.

It helped me then. And it helps me now. I just found out that my dad's cancer that had previously left is back. This time in his throat. The good news, if you can beleive it, is that they can operate this time and remove the damn tumor.

That's all I know right now. So, please keep my dad in your thoughts or prayers if you're so inclined.

He needs us. And I need him.

I'm Not Green

I must admit. I'm not a tree hugger. I don't save wales. Or kittens. And the real horror, I do not recycle. Does that mean I'm a horrible selfish person?

I don't think so.

I just didn't get into that facet of society.

I don't litter. I've volunteered at an animal rescue shelter for a summer. I taught people to read who didn't know how. The thing is everybody has a passion about something.

The Long Hot Summer

I'm talking about the movie that sparked the love affair between Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. I watched it last night, thanks to my friends at Netflix.

The movie itself was pretty good, but had elements of overly dramatic cheese affect, but I did enjoy the chemistry between Newman and Woodward. And I gotta say that Paul Newman was quite the sex symbol. All tan and he had a six pack, and was full of charm and flirtation for Joanne Woodward's character.

My friends all tease me, because I've had a long standing crush on Paul Newman and Robert Redford. But them back in the heyday. It's not as if I look at Paul now, in his 80's, and want to jump him.

No. But his appeal from way back. But even now, I think he's an amazing actor, and will watch pretty much anything that he is in. He's one of those actors that women want, and men want to be friends with.

My dad is the one that introduced me to Paul. When my parents divorced, we'd rent videos, a couple of Newmans' at a time, and hunker down with our cheesy popcorn.

My favorites are probably Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Cool Hand Luke, and Hud.

I could go on, but I won't.

During this long hot summer, it never hurts to watch a smoldering man.

Pizza on the Patio

Last night, I abandoned a plan to stay in my hot little apartment, and instead opted to go visit Becky. We ended up hanging out in Rochester at the Rochester Brewery, and people watched on the patio.

A good time. And much better than staying home alone, wishing I had some friends to hang out with.

I'm hoping to get the chance to hang with some friends that I haven't seen in a while this weekend.

This is the lamest blog in the history of blogs. I will do my best to redeem myself at a later date.

But thanks for hanging out Becky. I always have fun, no matter what we do.

Watch This

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

Good movie. Funny and original which is hard to do these days. Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer. Those two played well off each other, and they're not your typical buddy movie kind of guys.

Check it out if you get the chance. My friends at Netflix should be getting it back tomorrow, and then I think my next movie is All the President's Men. Have never seen it, but it is one of those movies that seems important to see. If nothing else, I'll get to watch Robert Redford act, and honestly, I could do that all day long.

In other news, work has been busy but productive. Got some new girly stuff at Target yesterday. Pretty new night gown, nail polish, work out pants. Sometimes you just need to do that stuff.

It seems especially important after my rude punk kids on Saturday morning. Read Phat Pants if you don't know what I'm talking about.

Tonight, I'll make glop. My grandma Gotshall's recipe. Lots of veggies and stuffing on top. And a glass of wine. Yummy.

Phat Pants

I'll admit it. I haven't been officially thin, since high school. Minus a brief stint in my late 20's where I managed to shed 30 pounds, but still being in my 20's, I couldn't comphrehend, I was no longer fat.

It didn't matter I'd got my pants down to a single digit. Nope. I still thought I was fat.

And now, I've got the wisdom to understand, should I ever lose another 30 pounds, I shall celebrate this fact, and accept the fact that I may never be a size 5 in my lifetime again. Instead, I will do my best to appreciate myself even if I'm a size 8.

That's what size I was after the 30 pound shed.

Right now, I'm not even close to that, but I'm working on getting there. I'm overweight yes, that's true. But I can still fit into normal sizes, and I can ride anything I want to at Cedar Point.

But yesterday, on the street, as I was walking home from the farmers market with fresh vegatables to make glop, some teenage punks, called me fat, and made fun of me out the window.

Well, fuck them. I know I need to lose weight, but I'm not Carnie Wilson large. (No offense Carnie)

In my time, I'll get there. I've stopped beleiving that will make me more lovable. It will only make getting dressed and undressed, more enjoyable to me. Me alone.

Because even thinner, I didn't have men falling over me. I was fixated on being thinner still. With age, there is wisdom. I'm 33. If I get down to a single digit pant size, I'll be happy for myself and no one else.

I don't beleive, I'll be alone always, but I'm not doing this to meet somebody.

The person I'm looking for is me. The girl in the mirror doesn't know she's pretty, or smart.

I'm looking for the side of myself that likes to shop and put together fun outfits, but who will probably always go to the grocery store in sweat pants and no make up, because that's how it's done. Knowing I can look nice dressed up, or hanging out in a baseball cap and a t-shirt.

She's been hidden, but I have a feeling she's about to make a come-back.

Nature Vs. Neon

The weekend of June 24th, I was in Las Vegas, the neon light capital of the world. It was huge, over the top and so much fun. I felt like Alice In Wonderland. Vegas is a place where time has no meaning.

Gambling, and I don't normally gamble, but Black-Jack was so much fun. Drinking and eating at all hours of the night. It was awesome.

I was home for 2 days, and was offered a last minute trip to Tennessee, near the Smokey Mountains. And it was awesome in a completely different way. Nature and quiet and woods. A cabin outfitted with a stereo, a full kitchen, and a hot tub.

In Tennessee, I went on a sky-lift ride in scenic Gatlinburg, and a helicopter ride. A thrilling two mintues to be sure. Well worth the $10.

I think Las Vegas was artifically more exciting, but the nature of Tennessee was much more relaxing.

It's a good feeling to get a few trips in this summer. I'm afraid this weekend, I'll be in Royal Oak, catching up on things like hair-cuts, eyebrow waxing, and if I'm real lucky an eye doctor appointment.

Countdown

At this time tommorow, I'll be on the plane. On route to Las Vegas.

Cheers to that. In the meantime, I've got a full work day to get through. Last night was busy with laundry, and packing and what-not. This morning, I dragged my tired self out of bed to go to the gym.

The treadmill. The bike. My new Entertainment Weekly. How sweet it is. I was riveted by an article about the new Superman movie. It looks like it might be good. It's the perfect summer time popcorn movie. Fluffy entertainment, and what more do I need?

I still remember seeing the original Superman. My dad took Shane, BJ, and me. It was awesome. Gummy candy in my teeth, and a hot man in tights. I was so happy.

I hope the new Superman evokes some good memories. I mean, how can anybody not like Superman? You can make fun of the outfit, I'll give you that, but he does what's right, and saves people. And his alter ego? Giant nerd!

Who of us can't relate to that? A big hearted giant nerd who trys their best to make the world a better place for everyone?

And with that, I better go. This blog is getting even cheesier than a plate of nachos.

Viva Las Vegas

I want to blog. And beat on the drums all day. I wish it was my job. Writing random fun things. That is sorta related to my job, but not quite.

It's so pretty outside. My friend and I were just walking outside absorbing sunshine.

Summer is fun. The flip flops, the cook-outs, the beer, the beach or park. All good. All the time.

In other news, I'm leaving for Las Vegas on Thursday. Hooray! I've never been. I'm looking forward to a little gambling, drinking, and relaxing, with nothing to do, but think about my next fun activity.

But first, I've got to figure out how to jam all my clothes into two tiny bags. I'll make it work. I'm going with my family to celebrate my dad turning 60.

Good job, dad. We've got lots of celebrating to do. Maybe I'll run into Wayne Newton.

Hopefully not. We're staying at a hotel that celebrities visit on a regular basis.

Dare to dream.

B is for Birthday

On Friday, I offically got older. And it was one of my best birthdays to date.

The first part of my day was business as usual with work and what not. Then I left work at lunch time, and decided to go visit some friends at my old job.

That was lots of fun, because I just got to ask about them, and didn't have to worry about an upcoming project or deadline. My friend Joe, danced for me.

After that, I headed home, to find a big box on the porch from my friend Karlene. I was sure she'd mailed me a box of air, but I discovered a watch inside. It is very cool, and I'm wearing it right now. It's red. Then, I lesiurly got ready, and friends started calling and gathering at my house, as a group of us we're headed to dinner at Sangria in Royal Oak, which is a tapas restuarant. And my sweet cousin Mckenzie was double-booked, but she drove all the way to my house to give me a card, a hug and a birthday wish.

Then it was off to dinner.

Many little plates of food, and pitchers of Sangria later, we headed to Dearborn to see Me and Joe Smith at the New Place Lounge. Joe rocks the guitar, and he knows his way around those cords. He played lots of Cash covers, which I enjoyed immensly.

I ushered in this birthday with lots of celebrating, and the happiness that comes with knowing just how many people wish me well.

It's easy to forget that fact on a daily basis. So it's nice to know how many people care about you.

And a giant bottle of gin, well that's even better than birthday cake.(Thanks, Amy)

Heading North

Yes, I will join millions of Americans on I-75 North, in a trek up north for the Memorial Day weekend.

My dad and I are taking a road trip up to Lake Leelanu to my mom's place. It used to be my grandpa's house, but after he died, my mom bought the house.

I've been going up to the area for 30 plus years, and in some ways, it feels more like home than the place I grew up in Milford.

I know the roads. I always eat at the Happy Hour. I've acquired my grandparents disdain for Traverse City. Not that it's a bad place. It's just crowded, and usually when I'm there, I'd rather lay on the deck or sunbathe, or go to a winery. If I wanted to go shopping in a crowded store, well, I'd stay home.

I'm looking forward to catching up on some sleep and all my magazine reading.

There's a rumor that even my brother will join us. How fun. Mom has a sailboat, so maybe we'll do some boating, Kennedy style.

Minus the drunken encounters and lying about it after the fact. I will probably have a drink or two. Maybe I'll make sangria. I did that last year, and it was tasty.

Maybe we won't be too crowded...we're leaving Saturday morning, and returning on Tuesday night.

Either way, at least I'll have company this time. My dad is fun to travel with. He goes into vacation mode, and it's fairly easy going.

Look out, Leland!

Hunting For Hoffa

Spring is here in Michigan. Do you know how I know?

Sure, it's been raining a lot, and the grass is green, but the reason I know that spring is here, is because the hunt for Jimmy Hoffa was started again.

Every spring it seems some tipster comes out of the background to tell us where Hoffa is after 30 plus years. This summer, he could be in Milford on a horse farm. Milford is where I grew up. Milford is a surburb that was pretty and quaint you might say.

We had a dime store, The D &C that sold everything from costume jewelry to ceramic swans to wax lips, and all for under $3.00. It was the kind of town growing up, where I could walk around at night without the fear of being abducted.

Nightlife? Not really. High school was spent in fields on the weekends, with kegs of beer and if things were good a bonfire. Or if we stayed in town, we'd go to the Kroger parking lot, and stand around. No kidding. At the time, we only had one fast food restaurant, McDonalds, and one small movie theater that only charged $3 to get in.

In later years, after I turned 21, my brother and our friends would hang out at the Red Dog Salon, a great local dive bar. I spent many Friday nights drinking, sitting and watching others play pool. Sometimes, I'd shoot a crooked game of darts.

It's odd to think that my little hometown could possibly be the final resting place of the Teamsters leader, but who knows?

All I know is that Milford has a lot of good memories for me, and in retrospect it wasn't a cool place to be, but it was safe and secure, for everyone who lived there.

Maybe I'll venture back this summer for the annual Milford Memories summer festival.

Lots of crafts, and beer outside. What more could you ask for?

And to Jimmy, wherever you are, I hope you're at peace.

Quinlan's Gather

The weekend with all my aunts and cousins turned out to be a smashing hit, I'd say.

We didn't drink very much this time, but I think I ate my weight in snack food and choclate which is a part of those weekends too. I'm glad that we're going to continue on our tradition.

Carol would be happy to know that the weekends she started and loved so much, will carry on. We welcome, Lacy and Nancy, and look forward to the arrival of Kathleen's daughter, Karly.

Tonight, I've got a hot date with the grocery store, and the season finale of Scrubs.

Don't be jealous of my exciting life. I'm actually just tired, and still a little sick with the cough that won't leave.

Weekends Like These

This weekend, I'll be gathering with my cousins for our weekend adventure we used to call Mother Daughter Weekend.

And before you start making fun of us as if were the Gilmore Girls, we are not. It was a tradition that started a few years ago, where my cousins, Kathleen, Colleen, and me, would get together with my mom, Susie, Carol, and another Carol.

The first year we didn't know how it would work, so 5 of the 6 of us, are gambling lovers, (not me), so we spent the weekend at the Soaring Eagle Casino in Mount Pleasant, Michigan.

It was a beautiful resort, but I was the only one that cared. I spent a lot of hours in the pool, and the hot tub. The next year, we talked a bit more, and had our weekend at Kathleen's house in Roscommon. We talked more, and ate more snack food.

Another year, we were in Cleveland, at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

And our last one, was at my mom's house in Lake Leelanau, and we never got off the deck. Not the whole weekend. I think the thing that we figured out, is that we're our own best entertainment. Just give us some drinks and lots of snack foods, and we're good to go.

One too many Jello shots, and a good time was had by all.

That was our last Mother Daughter weekend, in the true sense of the word. Our last weekend was Labor Day weekend in 2004, and then things changed.

My aunt Carol, Kathleen's mom, had a stroke and passed away. How could this happen? How could we lose our Carol? Who else was going to help us complain about the Quinlan's?

Who'd be our own cheerleader? And tell us each how great we were in her own way, always loving but never smothering.

We thought those weekends were just to be bitter-sweet memories. But, my cousin Kathleen is pregnant now with her own child, and it was decided that we'd spend this weekend, honoring Kathleen, and the growing life that is inside of her.

This year, we've invited some new aunts, and a new cousin or two, and I'm sure it will be a great time.

But my heart will always be on that deck with a beer, a bag of chips, and hours of bonding with my family, who feels more like friends.

I'm sure Carol is watching, and enjoying our visits in her own way. She will be missed, and loved forever. The street savvy Aunt, (Sorry Mom and Carol), the quiet leader who said little, but saw everything.

We love you Carol.

The Sun is Out

Hooray to sun!

It's Monday, and I'm at work, which usually isn't that fun, but today I was in a really good mood on my way in, and I think it has something to do with the fact that the sun is out.

Bring it on. I was sick yesterday, but I still forced myself off the sofa so that I could walk outside in the sun. It was awesome. Who needs a dog, if you've got an ipod?

I went shopping on Saturday, and got an awesome new rug for my living room. IT's so pretty that everytime I look at it, I have to smile. And new throw pillows for the couch.

A few months back, I was sitting on plastic lawn chairs. This is a huge improvement.

Onward and upward. Now, if I could just get my throat to stop scratching me.

Can't Explain It

What the hell is wrong with me? I don't know.

I woke up feeling out of sorts and tired. So, I went to the gym, and now I'm at work and I still feel out of whack.

Maybe it's because I'd love to be on vacation, someplace sunny and warm with a drink in my hand and nothing to do all day, but soak up lesiure time.

I can't say for sure. Last night, I got Tonya to come over and go sit on the patio with me at Memphis Smoke, and that was fun. Then I returned my bargin shoes at Payless, as it turns out, they weren't such a bargin after all.

At least my dad is home and I can go visit him this weekend, and for that I'm very glad.

I guess I like those days that maybe you feel sad or out of it, but you know why, so you can deal with it and move on. It's more difficult when you don't know why, but it's there just the same.

Maybe I can leave early today. Maybe all I need is a nap.

Home Coming

No, not the over-priced dress and teased hair of my youth sort of homecoming.

My dad is coming home from the hospital today. He's been in there just over a month, so there is much reason to be happy. As I've mentioned in earlier blogs, he was recovering from an infection, that was caused by a bad reaction to his chemo.

So, a small victory. He still has a blood clot and will be giving himself shots twice daily, but still I can come visit him at home instead of the hospital now.

What this Woman Wants

Last week, as I was getting ready for work, the Today Show had a segment on what Women find Sexy/ Appealing in a Man.

Well, I missed the segment, but it got me thinking about what I'm looking for, or not ever trying to catch, so I've complied my own list.


1. A man who is witty and quick. A little bit of goofy funny is ok too. Somebody who is willing to make fun of himself once in a while.

2. Kindness. Especially when no one is looking.

3. Manners. Very sexy, when a man opens a door. For me, it doesn't have to be the car door, but any other kind is awesome. It is nice when a man treats you with a little extra care, simply because you're a woman.

4. Smart. There is a difference between education and intelligence. A lot of stupid people go to college. A man should be able to carry on an intelligent conversation.

5. Attraction. Obviously, physical attraction is important. It's the one thing that seperates dating from being buddies. I want to be friends with my significant other, but I'd also like to be secretly thinking about ripping off their clothes. I'd like them to do the same.

6. Quirky. Have a unique sensibility. Or an innate understanding of my strange socks.

7. Sense of fun. Be willing to try new things. I'm of the mind, you should try anything once, and he should be the same.

8. Open-Minded. I don't want a lap dog to agree with everything I say, but I'd like a worthy debate partner who is willing to see other points of view. We don't need to agree, but we need to respect each other's opinions.

9. Good Job: My definition of a good job is not related to money. Honest. I want a guy who is happy with his M-F, simply because it makes for a happier person.

10. Family. Meaning he loves his family, enjoys seeing them, but doesn't have his mom on speed-dial.

And if he happens to love Johnny Cash, well, all the better.

Walk the Line

So, I spent last night over at my friend Joe's house. He and his wife, Mia invited me over to visit and watch Walk the Line, on Joe's huge ass tv.

I'm not sure how big it really was, but it seemed to take up almost an entire wall, and with the kickin stereo system, I really felt like Johnny Cash was singing right in the living room.

Awesome. Even more awesome, because as you may recall from previous blogs, Joe and I used to work together, and we don't any more. So, it was nice to see him again.

Some friends, you do really keep in touch with, while others suit their purpose, walk off and you never see them again.

I'm glad that Joe isn't one of those types of friends. He understands my weird quirks, and has lots of his own. When you meet a friend like that, it's important to stay in touch.

Mia and Joe, asked me to come back and watch King Kong, which I would gladly do, because if I watch it on my old tv from the early 90's, King Kong is going to look mini.